So as you know this is about my first ever dinner party, but first there is something I must address.
Now that I'm living on my own I make my OWN rules of the house. No more having to listen to mom and dad tell me about chores and when to have them done. We always disagreed on that especially about when to do my chores. My mom ALWAYS wanted my chores done like a day before we were having company! Absurdity it what I called it. I thought of this As I got ready for my first party. I'll do my chores when I WANT TO DO THEM THANK YOU VERY MUCH. I know what I'm capable....I can do it in one day I'm not a child anymore. I go to sleep the night before with a smug smile on my face, my dinner party isn't until 6pm the next evening. I dont even set an alarm...
I wake up at noon to the sun shining into my room. The sun is a rare occurence in Swedens winter wonderland, so I took a moment to take in the moment and then make myself a leisurely breakfast.
T-minus 6 hours....
Plenty of time....
Lets go over the list of things that need to be done. We are going to be in the Main Room (I say main room, because it sounds better than Only Room) so I really only need to clean in there. I start moving stuff around, and getting the room cleaned. I break out the broom and dustpan and even vaccuum the floors. I want to make sure the room is clean because I want to make a good impression on my guests.
Now my guests are as follows: William Walker (teammate), Logi Gunnarsson (teammate) and his wife and two children.
Clean Main Room: In Progress
Clean Bathroom: Incomplete
Since all I have to do is clean the Main Room and make the food I take my time. Then it dawns on me. What if they need to use the bathroom? I add cleaning the bathroom to my list. Not bad, still only two things to do before I have to cook.
Clean Main Room: In Progress
Clean Bathroom: Incomplete
Im jammin out to some Michael Buble (judge me I care not) as Im sweeping and I realize that kids dont exactly stay still. Especially with them being their daughter sara being two and their son Logi Jr being one I need to make sure that the whole HOUSE is swept, that includes my hallway and my kitchen. Ok, makes the list a little longer but still doable,
I look at the time, T-minus 5 hours
Clean Main Room: In Progress
Sweep and vacuum hallway and kitchen: Incomplete
Clean Bathroom: Incomplete
Food Preparation: Incomplete
Ok so my list got a little longer but I still have 5 hours, whats the big deal? I clean the main room, and move on to the hallway, as im cleaning I see that someone broke into my room and threw all my clothes everywhere and tossed my sheets all over the place (I figure this sounds alot better than, my room is messier than PigPen from Charlie Brown) I realize that even though I'll be keeping the door closed there is still a chance, someone can open. A slob is not one of the things I'd like to be known in sweden for so I add clean the bedroom to my list, I start to feel a slight tinge of alarm as my list got a little longer...
No go away!! I'm fine I still have 41/2 hours left.....
Clean Main Room: Complete
Sweep and vacuum hallway and kitchen: In Progress
Clean Bathroom: Incomplete
Food Preparation: Incomplete
Clean Bedroom: Incomplete
Hey still 4 1/2 hours so as far as i'm concerned I'm still in the green. I decide to take a break from the cleaning and start on a little food prep.
Here is the menu I decided to serve. Start with a salad that consists of romaine and spinach lettuce, red and yellow peppers, tomatoes, olives, cheese and Adam's Original Dressing. The main course will be 8 pieces of baked chicken and 8 pieces bbq of chicken, mashed potatoes, and stupid vegetables because I'm trying to act like an adult. Also I will have bread and butter, and serve fruit punch and water to drink.
Now the chicken needs to go into the oven for an hour so that leaves me 3 1/2 hours to do get everything ready on that. I decide to season the chicken and let it marinate, and cut up the stuff for the salad (peppers, tomatoes, and cheese). I make sure I have enough of everything, potatoes, cheese, butter, vegetables, barbeque sau...oh come on...your kidding...
Not enough BBQ sauce....dang it I should have checked it yester--
No leave me alone!! Its fine I caught it now so I still have time. Ill just finish my cleaning and go get some.
T-minus 4 hours...
Clean Main Room: Complete
Sweep and vacuum hallway and kitchen: Complete
Clean Bathroom: Incomplete
Food Preparation: In Progress
Clean Bedroom: Incomplete
I decide to get all my chores done, before I head out, I start moving quickly now, vaccuuming, sweeping, rearranging furniture, I realize that I need to clean all my table tops. Add that to the list. I set up the Main Room and move to the bedroom. I change the sheets make my bed and take out all the stuff under my bed that I've shoved under that because that doesn't look clean.
Ok I know I do it at home but Im learning now!!!
I look at the time. T-minus 3 hours...ok...pushin it a little but still doable, I start cleaning a little faster, trash starts piling up, when I rearrange the furniture I find more dust and dirt that I need to sweep and vaccuum, time keeps tickin,
Clean Main Room: Complete
Sweep and vacuum hallway and kitchen: Complete
Clean Bathroom: Incomplete
Food Preparation: In Progress
Clean Bedroom: Complete
Wipe Down Table Tops: Complete
Now we are coming up on the 2 hour mark, ok I HAVE to go to the store, I run down to the store and get what I need. I went as fast as I could but I think because I wasn't looking at the clock the sconds in a minute actually went from 60 to 45 each minute. I'm not kidding. I get back at 430....an hour and a half...ok...straight panic mode.
I get back upstairs and I start with the chicken, preheat the oven (right temperature this time) and throw it in at about 4:55..sheesh thats gonna be close, now the mashed potatoes are the trickiest because those get the coldest fastest, I start peeling and cutting, boiling and baking, all at once. If there is a job for a human pinball sign me up because I was bouncing all over the place. I was like Martha Stewart on crack, except I'm a black male who has never done crack...or been to jail...so actually not like her at all, not one of my best metaphors...ok moving on we're wasting time,
I look at the time and I have 45 minutes left!! 45?? How??? WHere did all the time go?? Why did I wait to do this all toda--
Stop seriously, I dont have time for this!!
I keep moving, getting all the food stuff ready, then I remember I need to set the table. I get the table set up, put out all the place settings, and make sure there is enough room. moving into the 30 minute mark...chicken will be done in 25...which is the same time I have to start mashing the potatoes. Great timing genius.
I start preparing the salad, and getting the bread and drinks ready. I start setting them on the table and put the salad in the fridge. 10 minutes until the potatoes need attention and the chicken needs to come out and covered. Seriously where is a good pit crew when you need one.
In 5 minutes the 10 minutes is up, boom take out the chicken, cover back in the oven, turn oven off. Boom, done. Potatoes, bang strain mash, add ingredients, I'm movin faster than a white man in the ghetto at night. I start to get a little confident...then it hits me.
The bathroom isn't done.
Now normally this wouldn't be a bad thing, but I had to wash some of my clothes by hand and as a result it left a pretty little ring of gray in my tub, thats just what I want to have my guests seeing. "The dinner was great, but I think I'll hold it next time."
I sprint into the hallway towards the bathroom, realize I still have the mashed potatoes spoon in my hand, turned around and half dove half threw the spoon back in the bowl. Getting up from this I realized that I probably wasted more time doing that obnoxious maneuver than just calmly walking in there and placing it in the bowl but as we have already learned I don't work well under extreme stress, (see, mansplits, part 1)
I run into the bathroom and start scrubbing everything, the sink, the tub, the toilet, I get it all, I am flustered, frustrated, running low on energy, I break....I finally say it outloud...
WHY DIDN'T I DO THIS THE DAY BEFORE???
Ok, fine....you win, you have been right, I was wrong....there.
I sprint back into the kitchen, and tackle the mashed potatoes. They are almost finished when I remember...
The vegetables...
UGHH THEY ARE SO......
STUPID!!!!!!!
I start them as quickly as I can and start praying that one of the kids is throwing a tantrum at home thus delaying their arrival.
I get them finished right as I hear a knock on the door.
It's go time.
I run and change my shirt since I want the meal to be a surprise and my shirt shows everything we are having...
I really need an apron.
All in all however the meal was a success. It was a great time getting to hang with my teammate and his family and see his kids run around my clean house without having to worry about what they would find. The food was completely gone by the time every left and I was left with a full, satisfied feeling and a pile of dishes that could be mistaken for one of the Alps. I felt like I could throw another dinner party, after I slept for a week. I would definitely do some things differently and not do everything in one day.
Ok enough I apologized already!!
